WAKING UP IN VEGAS [kholden]

[kholden phinneaus jackson]

<sup>Kholden was a confident person he normally had no doubts about whether he could please someone or not. He had been told on many accounts how much of a generous lover he was and how good in bed he was. He took pride in that, but for some reason he was starting to feel nervous. This was the farthest they had ever gotten and he knew it was going to be going all the way. That thought had his stomach fluttering like crazy. He didnt want to disappoint Carson. He could only imagine how good carson was and he just wanted to be able to measure up. When carson told him he wanted him too, a slow smirk came to his lips and he nodded. Good' those words restored some kind of confidence in him. Made him really want to show him he wouldnt regret this.

As Kholden started to tease him lightly and then finally take him fully in. Kholden wanted to give carson his best but at the same time he wanted to leave some things to keep him coming back. He knew how to do that at least. He could he could do it and make it good but make it so hed want more. How could not want more. He just hoped it worked. Kholdens hands didnt stay in one spot. He made sure to move them around, stroke places as he licked sucked and teased carson. Whenever carson would buck though he would have to place his hands on carsons hips to keep him down a little. He didnt care if carson wanted to grip his hair or if he wanted to thrust himself deep into his throat. He could take it.

Kholden didnt want him to come yet so he pulled off of him after awhile and then licked his way back up before taking his mouth again in a hungry kiss. One hand threaded through his hair tugging at his hair a bit while his other hand dug his fingertips into his hip. He moved it back up stroking up the skin before using his nails to drag them back down his back using the palm of his hand once he got to his ass and then stroked down grabbing it once he got toards the bottom. He really liked carsons ass. It was... very very nice. He rubbed against carsons body all thoughts of them being on a plan with people out side not caring if someone was waiting to use the toilet, flew from his mind. It was just him and carson and warmth and skin... so much skin.</sup>

[carson cain walker]

<sup>This was weird, weird and unexpected. Wait- no- that wasn't true. Carson had expected it after a while, just he hadn't expected it so soon. But there he was in the closed in bathroom of an airplane with the only person he would rather be in a closed in bathroom with and it felt amazing. What had Carson a little on edge was that it wasn't the physical stuff that had him feeling Amazing. It was Kholden that was making Carson feel like that. Too bad Carson was much too stubborn to give in and admit that out loud. The furthest he would go with admitting that would be telling Kholden that he wanted him. This was a moment where he would have to set his pride aside. He wanted this to be pleasurable for Kholden. Besides, Carson had a reputation to keep up. Most everyone he slept with, besides the ones who were in denial, thought Carson was a great lay. Still, the tables were turned now that Carson was with someone he wanted to be satisfied... someone he cared about.

Kholden's teasing was about to drive Carson crazy. He should have known that he would meet his match in teasing. Carson bit his lower lip, his hand resting on Kholden's cheek as Kholden finally took him in. Kholden's hands were all over him. That was something Carson would never complain about. His breathing deepened as Kholden continued to lick and suck. Carson leaned his head against the wall. His hand placed on Kholden's cheek, Carson could feel the movement and that was even more of a turn on that Carson would have ever thought it could be. Carson didn't mean to buck up so much and cause Kholden to have to hold his hips at times. Kholden just hit a lot of sweet spots that Carson wasn't expecting him to hit. It took him by surprise and he was sure that at some point he had probably accidentally shoved his full length into Kholden's mouth. Who wouldn't be a little jumpy, though? He knew that he was starting to get close to coming just because he could feel it at his fingertips. It was like an electric current surging through his body and he was ready for it, but Kholden stopped.

When Kholden stopped Carson was a little disoriented. It was like whiplash being pulled so close only to have the brakes slammed on at the worst possible moment. He felt like he was hitting a brick wall. But Carson soon felt Kholden's tongue working its way up his chest and that relieved the feeling a little bit. Carson accepted Kholden's lips back on his, returning the kiss with the same hunger. His hands moved around Kholden's back then down to the band of Kholden's pants. It just wasn't fair the Carson was fully undressed and Kholden wasn't. So Carson unbuttoned Kholden's pants as he kissed Kholden roughly, pushing them down as well. Carson was used to kissing while doing things so he didn't even really have to break stride that much. He sucked on Kholden's lower lip as his hand moved around from Kholden's lower back, taking Kholen, his thumb massaging one area gently. After pulling away from the kiss Carson began to kiss down Kholden's chest. He licked across Kholden's chest licking Khol's right nipple, flicking it with his tongue before gently biting it. He didn't stay too long in that area before he was moving down.

Carson licked further down, lowering to his knees with the lowest he went. He, in turn, teased Kholden much the same way that he had been teased. Carson licked and nipped at the tip, his hand resting at the base. This was it. There was really no going back. Carson finally took Kholden in. Being the spiteful creature he was, Carson wanted to show Kholden just what he had done to him. He wanted to show Kholden the brick wall feeling of almost being there, but not quite being able to make it. Carson licked and sucked, though he was sure he wasn't as practiced as Kholden. Number of times Carson had given a BJ? One... and that was at this very moment. He was going basically off what had been done to him before by chicks and what Kholden had done only moments ago. As soon as Carson felt Kholden getting close to that point he pulled away, smirking as he moved back up and pulled Kholden against him, returning his mouth to Kholden's.</sup>

[kholden phinneaus jackson]

<sup>Kholden could tell by the noises and by carsons breathing that he was really enjoying it. Kholden wouldnt be able to put to words the feeling he had inside if someone asked him to. It just wasnt possible. Carson... carson was the only person that could do this to him and honestly he wouldnt have it any other way. It was just so easy and familiar with carson, so... natural that it would be horrible if it hadnt been going in this direction. They were kissing now and the as always carsons lips ignited such a fire through out him that had his body feeling like it was on fire and at the same time buzzing. This was better then any drug he could ever take.

As carson kissed him he felt his hands moving to his pants and it wasnt long before he had them undone. Slick bastard. That thought had him smirking inwardly. God... carson. Carson was moving down his chest now, he emitted a low growl as he gave attention to his nipples. He loved his nipples being touched. It was funny how on guys most people over looked it. Just because they didnt have breasts didnt mean they didnt enjoy nipple play either. Whatever.. its another reasons guys were better in bed... well for the most part.

Carson looked down at carson pulling his bottom lip between his teeth his fingers going into his hair as carson started to please him. Holy.. fuck. he moaned maybe a bit too loudly. His head fell back a bit too quickly and it hit hard on the wall. Kholden didnt feel it though through the pleasure carson was giving him. Kholden honestly didnt care how much experience carson had in this department. It was feeling good and thats what mattered. It also helped that the mouth that was around him, pleasing him, was the person hed been fantasizing about lately and the one he wanted to actually be doing it to him.

There were so many times he had to bit his lip hard to keep from moaning again like the first time. He didnt want anyone to come knocking ending this before it could get to the part they were waiting for. Just when he thought he was about to hit his peak carson pulled back. He made a protesting sound, but at the same time he wanted something more then just carsons mouth. Carson went back to kissing him again and kholden ground agianst him again. Their hard ons rubbing together.

Carson please. he reached between them to stroke carson with his fingers. Fuck me now. he knew he sounded like a proper slut, but its what he wanted... what he needed and he couldnt wait any longer.</sup>

[carson cain walker]

<sup>This moment with Kholden made him think about what he had almost written in his journal earlier. Carson had almost admitted that he loved Kholden. He wanted to think it was a friend love... the kind of live that lived in a friendship and didn't go beyond caring and doing things for that particular friend. But this... this was beyond that friendship love. As much as Carson needed to think, for Kholden's sake, that this was just some phase. Carson knew it wasn't that, but it would make him feel better to think it was just sex that didn't matter. The last thing Carson wanted to be doing was battling within himself about this. Was it right that he was about to have sex with Kholden? Was it REAL or was it lust? Carson just... he knew what it was, but admitting that to himself was pretty damn hard. He was a stubborn boy and really... feelings were the hardest things to admit.

Kholden's encouraging 'Holy Fuck' was what kept Carson going. Apparently Kholden really enjoyed what was happening and who would Carson be to stop that? Besides, it wouldn't be that bad to give Khol a little BJ... right? Carson hoped Khol wouldn't get too loud and attract unneeded attention, but he didn't want to stop. It was weird that he didn't want to stop. This was one situation that Carson couldn't pull away from. It was too late for that. As man contradictory thoughts were running through Carson's head, there was one thought he knew for certain he meant... and that was that he wouldn't trade the feeling he had at that moment for anything else. At least that was something Carson could hold on to while he did something that nearly every fiber of his being as screaming at him for.

Carson felt a lot of his doubts go as his lips were back on Khol's. He was forced to realize that he needed this. Carson needed to be... well, Carson could think clearly enough to put any of it into words, but he knew he needed it and that was enough for him at the moment. When Kholden pleaded with him Carson closed his eyes. He had been satisfied just having Kholden pressed against him, but Kholden wanted more. Carson wasn't sure about giving more. He wanted to, but he just wasn't sure. After a moment of thought Carson finally convinced himself that this was what Khol wanted and he was bound to give Kholden that. He had almost gone back on one promise... the promise about forever... this was something he wouldn't give up on. He couldn't let Khol down anymore.

Finally Carson nodded, positioning himself so that he could do it right. Carson kissed along Kholden's shoulder as his arm looped around so that he could hold on good enough. He had to be careful with making more noise than necessary. Finally Carson began to move, getting into a nice stride. So this was it... this was what they had been working up to...</sup>

[kholden phinneaus jackson]

<sup>Kholdens head was such mush it wasnt even funny. If he could think clearly hed probably start thinking about whether or not they should even do this on the plane. It would be their first time and even though he wasnt the type of guy that needed to do things romantically, this was Carson and as much as he didnt like to put too much into it, it was rather kind of huge. His feelings towards carson as of late have been too intense for it not to be, but he was not going to get all girly on carson. He wasnt gong to make carson thing that he was getting clingy, that he was making this to be far more then its suppose to be.

Even if he could stop what was happening on grounds of waiting till they were in their room, he just... physically could not. Carsons lips... his hands, his body! Everything was too overpowering to his senses. He appealed to every one of them. Touch, taste, looks, smell, sound and a few extra if that was possible. Kholden was feeling as if he hit the trillion dollar lottery right now and as Carson positioned to enter him there was no turning back not one sliver of a chance.

Carson was everything kholden could have hoped for and probably more. People would probably think he was biased and being a complete girl but really when you feel as though you've found your match to you that person is perfect and you fit so well together in every way. He doesnt care what people would say, to him fireworks were going on around him as cliche as it was. There was no plane, just him and carson and fucking good hot sex.

Kholden had no complaint when it was all over, in fact he couldnt stop grinning. He was sore and sated and happy as fuck. There was one point where hed nearly let 'i fucking love you' slip from his lips but hed managed to catch himself and turn it into a moan instead. The words had been a complete surprise and had been so natural to say aloud that when the i slipped from his mouth he stilled a moment nearly messing up their rhythm. He didnt think carson thought anything of it, he was pretty sure he covered it well enough.

Kholden smirked at carson and pulled him to him kissing him ... sweetly. Wow.. he said his hand going to the middle of carsons chest stroking it with his fingers before patting the area and then laughed lightly. He honestly didnt know what to say to that. He wanted to find the closest bed and curl up with carson, it was ridiculous how fluttery his stomach was right now. Worse then before. He rubbed his own stomach and then looked back at carson. Please tell me there will be a repeat.. he smirked and kissed him again pulling his favorite move, tugging at carsons bottom lip with his teeth.

He pulled away to grab some hand towels to wipe up any mess and then tossed it, pulling his boxers and pants back on before running the water. He was so warm and he didnt have to look in the mirror to see that he was flushed. he looked up at carson through the mirror, that half grin half smirk still in place.</sup>

[carson cain walker]

<sup>Really it wasn't that bad. Carson had always imagined that if he had sex with another guy that something incredibly bad would happen. But nothing would happen, Carson was sure of that. He felt incredibly relieved. It was like something that had been taken off his shoulders. The bad part, or what seemed like the bad part, was that he couldn't take this back if he wanted to. With any random whore he could pretend like it never happened, but this was Kholden and Carson didn't want any of his after sex habits to creep back in. He had a pretty nasty habit for treating his partners like shit after he got what he wanted. That wasn't any way that he wanted to treat Kholden, but old habits died hard. When it had all ended and he had pulled away from Kholden Carson had to resist the urge to grab a cigarette and pretend like it had never even happened. He told himself that wasn't what he wanted to do, but he was so used to doing that... it would be a hard thing to stop for sure.

Carson let Kholden draw him into a sweet kiss. What was he thinking? Carson couldn't let that edgy part of him slip out... not right now. He didn't need to let is bad habits creep back in. Carson returned the kiss, glad to just momentarily feel Kholden's lips back against his. Kholden always seemed to bring him back down a couple of levels into reality. That was a good thing... it was what Carson needed whether he admitted it or not. He looked down as Kholden drummed his fingers on Carson's chest before patting the area. Kholden then said something that made Carson freeze.

A repeat? Carson hardly ever had repeat sex with anyone. As Kholden drew him into another kiss, pulling on his lower lip just the way Carson liked it, his mind went into a frenzy. Kholden was... Carson seriously cared about him. A repeat... a repeat? Carson just seriously couldn't wrap his mind around it almost. When Kholden pulled away Carson had to keep himself from curing his thoughts. It wouldn't be so bad to give Kholden a repeat... would it? It couldn't hurt... right? Carson just wasn't sure. He wasn't sure if he could even hold back his first instinct to be an asshole after sex.

Carson pulled his own boxers back on as well as his pants while Kholden cleaned up their mess. He leaned against the wall, staring into the mirror that Kholden was staring into. He didn't know what to say or do. Carson hadn't answered Kholden about the repeat thing for a reason. Normally Carson would bypass the sweet kisses and just walk out... but Kholden... God... Kholden was different. There were a number of things that Carson needed to admit to himself and he knew that he needed to do that before he promised any repeats. Carson bit his lower lip. What was this fucking feeling that was inside him? Carson sighed finally, knowing what it was. He fucking loved Kholden. That was what it was. That was the reason Kholden got everything no one else got out of Carson.

Finally, Carson moved toward Kholden, wrapping his arm around Kholden's waist. He kissed along Kholden's shoulder, finally whispering in Kholden's ear. "As many as you want."</sup>

[kholden phinneaus jackson]

<sup>Kholdens aware of the fact carson isnt super affectionate. He remembers that time they had a bet that he would get him to cuddle him just because carson is not a cuddler. He respects that he isnt like that, he knows and he definitely didnt expect anything after the sex. Kholden is a cuddler he is an affectionate person so even though he kissed and touched carson afterwards he didnt mean to make carson uncomfortable with it or to make him feel as though he should be this way as well. Honestly kholdens pretty sure it wouldnt matter if he made him feel that way or not, he doubts carson would do something he doesnt want to do and kholdens completely fine with that. After all he likes car for who he is, even the things that are the opposite of him.

So with all of this when carson actually comes up behind him and wraps his arms around him, kissing his shoulder kholdens grin widens to nearly full blown. A shiver ran down his spine by the heat of his breath of those whispered words. IT was just so... it was a surprise and even the words after it didnt affect him as much as that little thing that carson just did. The words were just a bonus, but that small action sent his stomach fluttering again and he dried his hands, resting one of his hands over carsons rubbing it lightly. mm... be careful on that power. I might abuse it. he teased.

There was a knock on the door and kholden stilled looking over at it before looking at carson. He didnt laugh outwardly but it showed in his dark brown eyes. Looks like we've overstayed our visit... he said. I hope people like the smell of hot sex, probably make them jealous. this time his quite chuckle was audible. Im actually looking forward to some dirty looks how bout you? he asked raising his brow. Cause I am going to look right at them all with the biggest grin on my face. They can look all they want but they didnt just have sex with the hottest fucking guy around. he laughed lightly again. There was another impatient knock on the door.

he moved so he could kiss him again before pulling away and grabbing his shirt, pulling it on. Im thinking we flash these stewardess's our charming smiles and get a drink yeah? he straightened his shirt as he raised his brow at carson, waiting for him.</sup>

[carson cain walker]

<sup>Carson realized what his little romantic gesture meant. It meant that Kholden, by all means, was different than anyone he had ever been with sexually. Usually it took an act of God to get Carson to be relatively nice after sex. So his gesture had really surprised him as well. He didn't want Kholden to get the wrong idea about the gesture, but Carson knew that what he considered Kholden's wrong idea was actually the right idea. It was a little confusing even to Carson, but he tried to to focus on that. Instead, he tried to put on his usual smirk at Kholden's words. "Maybe I want you to." Carson replied, ignoring the knock on the door. "I'm a big boy. I think I can handle it." He honestly didn't care if people wanted them to get out of the bathroom. Carson mostly did things on his own schedule. He turned his gaze to the door, narrowing his eyes. He wanted to lash out at them, but he knew that might not make Kholden too happy. Holding that in was pretty damn hard. Stupid love making him want to make someone else happy.

As Kholden began to speak again Carson was able to concentrate on him. Carson only made a 'Mmm' sound as he rested his chin on Kholden's shoulder, secretly liking the fact that Kholden was rubbing his hand. Carson smirked at Kholden's last sentence. "You're right about that." Carson said, at first sounding like he was complimenting himself. "Considering I just had sex with the hottest guy around." Carson wasn't used to how sappy he just sounded. There was another knock at the door and Carson couldn't hold it in anymore. He released his grip from Kholden and moved up next to the door, hitting it a little more hard than he intended originally. "Back the fuck off out there. We'll come out when we want to goddamn it. Go take care of your other mother fucking passengers and maybe we'll come out." Carson, at that point, would like to show them what they could do with their gas masks. He didn't exactly hold back with people. Usually Carson meant everything he said and said whatever came to his mind with no shame.

It was Kholden who calmed Carson down by drawing him into a kiss. As Kholden pulled away from the kiss Carson sighed and picked his own shirt up, slipping it over his head easily. "I let you flash your charming smile so they at least have something happy after they see the way I'd like to look at them." There was yet another knock at the door and this time Carson groaned unlocking the door and shoving it open with a nearly violent thrust. Hey- he had to take that asshole side of him out on someone. So yes- his look was so intense, not one attendant said anything to him about it. Carson just had a way of conveying just how he felt about things. As he began to walk out of the bathroom Carson stopped at one of the attendants. "Were you the one who knocked?" She nodded, staring at Carson's intense dark eyes. "Well, you have five minutes and no more than that to redeem yourself for interrupting us and bring us some alcohol, pronto... and m&ms." The attendant didn't argue with Carson and hurried off.

Carson didn't look back to Kholden, he didn't want to see how disappointed Kholden probably was. It was... Carson couldn't help it. He had to be an asshole to someone and since he didn't want to hurt Khol he had to redirect it. Finally reaching their seats, Carson reached into the overhead compartment and grabbed his journal out of one of the bags. Carson waited for Kholden to get seated, still avoiding eye contact for the most part, before he sat down himself. He simply opened his journal and pulled out a pen, beginning to write.</sup>

[kholden phinneaus jackson]

<sup>Kholden grinned and quirked a brow. really now? well then I think i just might take you up on that.. he said pressing back against him. He liked to be able to tease carson sometimes because usually it was carson teasing him. He pulled away again. The fact that carson even wanted more was amazing. Carson was the one time deal type of person, so the fact that he might be making an exception, unless he comes to his senses later, then well it made kholden feel better. Maybe it was because he was his best friend. Either way it was nice.

The feel of carsons chin on his shoulder made his stomach flutter even more. Carson had a ridiculous affect on him and it wasnt all that bad, but he just had to keep a level head about this. He wasnt going to let himself think something that isnt there because when he gets hurt he doesnt want to blame carson nor does he want to get in the position where he'd have to stop seeing carson just to survive. It wouldnt be carsons fault, but everyone seems to blame the other person and he doesnt want that. Hes seen it happen far too much hes ot going to be one of those people. Not to carson. Carson really doesnt need something like that to add to his plate either.

kholden laughed a bit. How about that. Both had sex with the hottest guys around... howd we manage that. he joked. His brows shot up as carson released him to yell at the door. Right now, all kholden could do was smirk because really they were interrupting them. They paid good money to be on this flight and they could really relax already. He just had sex with Carson for godsake do they not get the fact that this is really kind of... awsome that he maybe wants a few more minutes here with it to so in and with carson... to maybe... put his chin on his shoulder aagain and hold him like... NO! no no no! must stop!

After Carsons comment of letting him flash the smile since he wanted to do something else kholden just patted his cheek lightly. Ignore them. he said. THey're seriously jealous.. he smirked, but carson was putting his shirt back on and another knock was sounded. He watched as carson pulled the door open giving the girl there such a look that probably had her trembling.

Kholden followed out. Make one of them peanut M&M's please he said and gave her his infamous lazy kind of smirk grin and then followed after carson. He honestly didnt mind that he had yelled at her. Normally he would have felt bad for the girl because carson did seem to be more mean to people that didnt necessarily deserve it all the time, but this time... well this time they interrupted something important. Kholden would have done it if carson hadnt already done it though he doubted it would have been as effective if he had done it. It was actually pretty hot watching carson get pissed about that.

When kholden sat down next to carson, carson had his journal out. Kholden leaned over. SO good you cant wait to write it down to memory?' he winked teasing him as he sat back in his chair again. He was defintely not a nosy person, granted he was a little curious but he wasnt the type to look over someones shoulder. He knew if carson wanted him to know something he would tell him.

The stewardess returned with what carson had ordered. Kholden took the things and smiled at her. Thanks love' he told her. Just make sure if we want anything more you keep on it okay? he grinned again making the order sound more like it was something she actually wanted to do instead of sounding like a threat.</sup>

[carson cain walker]

<sup>Carson bit his lower lip, wishing Kholden would take advantage of it. These thoughts were starting to kill him. He wasn't used to it. There was no way that Carson could handle this all at once. Kholden was pressing up against him... and the feelings... god, it was too much to deal with at one time. Carson began to question whether or not he would be able to follow through with his promise of a repeat. He was sure that if Kholden did all the right things Carson would be putty in his hands. As strong willed as Carson was, he, too, had weaknesses. Carson was having a lot of trouble getting his thoughts together. That was a bad thing. He needed to be able to think with no problem. It was important that he have his thoughts and ideas all in order and working properly. Carson wondered about his mental strength... if he would be able to handle any of this. It was getting to a point where he needed to be touched by Kholden... not just sexually. That was what kind of had Carson worked up. Kholden could just accidentally brush against him and it would automatically make him feel better.

Because Carson knew these feelings were probably one sided, he kept them to himself. Carson was definitely not the touchy-feely kind of guy. He wasn't great at conveying how he felt about things beyond aggression. For years Carson tried to make excuses for this. He wanted to think that he was like that because of his past... because he never had anyone that really loved him... but Carson knew better. Carson wouldn't play the child abuse card because that wasn't right. He was who he was and that just so happened to be a hostile, aggressive, asshole. If other people couldn't handle that, then they could fuck off. Kholden's laugh was what really brought him back to reality. He loved hearing Kholden's laugh. Carson almost rolled his eyes at the thought, but he stopped himself in time. He smirked at Kholden's comment. "We're fucking amazing. That's how we managed that." He was pretty close to believing what he just said. Usually Carson would think that he was just blowing a smoke screen, but this time he knew at least one of them was amazing... Kholden was.

Carson grumbled as he pulled his shirt on, taking in Kholden's comment about them being jealous. Damn right they were fucking jealous. He felt a lot better after he was sitting down in his seat. Writing in his journal had always made him feel a little... relieved. As Kholden leaned over Carson tensed up, his pen nearly slipping. He wasn't sure why he was about to freak out over it. Kholden would get to read it eventually anyway. But Carson was at a delicate part of his journal and he wasn't sure that letting Kholden get a sneak peak was a good idea. His whole journal entry was about his feelings for Kholden and there was even a note tacked on at the end. Carson closed the journal, glancing back to Kholden. "You bet," He replied. "Every hot, steamy detail. Maybe you'll get to read it sometime." As the attendant brought the stuff Carson stood and put his journal back in his bag and sat back down. He waited till she left to sit back down in his seat. He didn't have anything nice to say... it was better to let Kholden be in charge.

Carson took his drink and milk chocolate M&Ms from Kholden. He sat the glass down in the cup holden next to him and opened his pack of M&Ms. Usually Carson would be eating these while smoking a cigarette. Chocolate was commonly what Carson used with his cigarettes. God, now his mind was centered around smoking. He did what he said he would do in his journal entry and reached over, taking Kholden's hand in his. Carson's hand began to shake slightly. Addiction was a bitch. He turned his head to look at Kholden. "Sorry... I need a cigarette. Mind if I light up when we land?" Carson knew he didn't have to ask Kholden. He was a grown boy and could make his own decisions, but he really felt better asking Kholden. If Kholden didn't want him to, then he wouldn't.</sup>

[kholden phinneaus jackson]

<sup>Kholden laughed. mm.. cant wait. he said. I like porn literature. he smirked as he leaned back again. Kholden took his drink and his m&m's. he loved the peanut ones added extra little bit to the plain ones. He liked adding chips to his sandwiches just for the crunch. He offered the girl another smile as she passed by giving her a wink. He figured at least even if she was afraid she would also be happy to wait on them. Kind of like a love hate relationship. Kholden took a drink from his glass, it was a little weak, hed have to tell her to add a little more next time she came by.

Kholden had just rested his hand down when he felt something and he turned his attention to the sensation only to find it was from carson. Carson was holding his hand. He blinked and continued to look. He tilted his head a bit but then he could feel the shaking in carsons hand. He looked over at him slight questioning in his eyes and then carson spoke giving him the answer he needed. Kholden squeezed his hand. Carson needed it. He needed his support right now and he would help. Kholden knew he was trying to cut back and kholden was greatful for that. Besides it also was nice because Kholden needed it too. Flying made him nervous and he usually tried to hide it but he couldnt always. carsons hand seemed to ground him and it was making him feel better. Maybe even more so then the alcohol.

Yeah.. sure.. no thats fine. he told him. Youve been good he gave him a teasing look and then chuckled some. He lifted up the tray they had on the side of each of the seats and then set his m&m's on them pouring a couple out so he could use his free hand to pick them up and pop them in his mouth. m&m's good?' he looked over at him, his thumb brushing over carsons hand soothingly as he continued to hold it. He briefly thought about his cats. He had forgot to leave food and shit out for them. Maybe when he got to vegas hed call pete and ask him to go over there and check on them for him. He didnt think pete would mind too much, pete liked his cats.</sup>

[carson cain walker]

<sup>Carson smiled, huffing softly, "I'll let you read it in Vegas." That was a bold statement. As many times as Carson had written that he would let Kholden read it he still wasn't sure that he would let Kholden read it. Well, since there was now a verbal commitment to it, Carson knew he would probably be cornered into letting Kholden read it anyway. Carson shouldn't mind letting Kholden read it. After all, his thoughts on the matter seemed to be growing. He couldn't help it. But his thoughts... they wouldn't leave him alone and Carson felt like they were just attacking him. His thoughts mixing in with his craving for nicotine was about to drive him insane. Temporary insanity... that must have been what drove him to take Kholden's hand the way he did. Carson couldn't concentrate on anything. He just knew that he was really jumpy and shaky and he just wanted to be in Vegas soon.

When Kholden squeezed his hand, Carson was sure that he could get through it until Vegas. Kholden seemed to have that effect on him and he wasn't sure where it came from... just that it happened. This was the same feeling that made Carson sure that he had to let Kholden read his journal. That would be a lot easier than telling Kholden those things. The flight was beginning to get on his nerves as well. Carson still couldn't help but think about how much he needed a cigarette. The craving was just starting to eat him up from the inside out. His grip on Kholden's hand tightened. He seriously felt like he might die if he didn't get a cigarette. Carson tried desperately to focus all his attention on Kholden and how he was holding Kholden's hand. Oh god- he was holding Kholden's hand. He couldn't imagine what Kholden might actually think of that. He figured Kholden probably thought he was some needy son of a bitch who couldn't even hack quitting smoking.

Carson managed to pop an m&m into his mouth. He listened to Kholden as he went for another. Kholden had no idea how glad Carson was that he would let him smoke in Vegas. Carson needed it... really. "I can be a good boy when I want." Carson managed to tease back. He popped another m&m into his mouth as he nodded in response to Kholden's next question. "Yeah... they're kind of helping brush back the craving." Carson loved how he was feeling... aside from the cravings. He was on a plane holding hands with a boy that he really cared about. What more could he ask for out of his miserable life? Carson drew in a deep breath as he lay his bag of m&ms on the trey and leaned his head back. "Khol... I need to sleep off this... whatever it is... just to me some favors."

Laying his head back on the head rest of his chair, Carson continued. "Wake me up when we get to Vegas... and... don't let go." Carson closed his eyes, hoping Kholden knew that he meant that he didn't want Kholden to let go of his hand. That would... just not do. Carson wanted to just hold things right where they were, but he had to get rid of that stupid craving first.</sup>

[kholden phinneaus jackson]

<sup>Kholden nodded. Alright.. he said then nudged him. You know im only teasing. You dont have to show it to me. he didnt want carson to think he was invading his personal space, though he had a feeling if carson actually was bothered he wouldnt have offered for kholden to read it no matter who he was. Sometimes kholden forgot that carson was very capable of being just as distant to him as he was to everyone else. Kholden mostly forgot cause he was so close to carson and it was easy to just think that carson would tell him things, share things with him like most friends do. Kholden wasnt disappointed though, that was definitely not true. He respected carson like crazy and he respected his privacy as well. He never thought less of carson not even when he kept things to himself. He just knew that was carson. If carson wanted to say then carson would say. Kholden wouldnt even bring again either.

Kholden knew that carson was merely holding his hand because he was trying to control himself, but there was a small giddy part inside of himself that was hoping it was for other reasons. Of course that was just silly right? Kholdens thumb rubbed across Carsons knuckles in a circular motion. He would help him as much as he needed to. That was the thing, he knew that carson was going to go through withdrawls from cutting back so much. He knew that this wasnt going to be easy and that carson would probably get more moody as the time when on, but kholden was very much ready for this. He would stick by carsons side no matter what. Thats what friends did, through thick and thin they would always be there and thats the kind of friendship kholden offered. He knew that carson would do the same for him if the roles were reversed. He brought his hand up and kissed the back of it without thinking before resting their hands back down again, his thumb still running soothing circles on it.

kholden looked at him and smirked. oh Ill bet you can. he wiggled his brows at him and then chuckled. Good.. he nodded when he confirmed they were helping a bit. Im glad. he lifted his drink to his lips and took a drink. He was just setting it down when carson said he needed to sleep it off. Hmm... he tilted his head as carson asked him to do him a favor, his head going back on the rest while kholden waited for him to tell him what he wanted.

Carsons first request he figured was an obvious one and he was about to nod and say sure but then he added an and, and the and was something that kind of took him by surprise. Thankfully he didnt 'react' outwardly and instead he smiled then, it was soft and caring, but carsons eyes were closed so he wasnt worried about carson seeing it. yeah.. sure carson. Anything. he squeezed his hand again to let him know he was still there and always would be.Anything.</sup>