'FOCUS ON THE PAIN

[blaine matthew cronn.]

'I HURT MYSELF TODAY
TO SEE IF I STILL FEEL
I FOCUS ON THE PAIN 'CAUSE IT'S THE ONLY THING THAT'S REAL

The day had been a daze for Blaine. No, not just the day. The whole past week had gone by with him just sitting and staring, his head racing a mile a minute. He had been trying so hard. This whole year he had been hoping that he could get rid of this curse, this disease. It was only until he had seen Peter that he had realized that it wasn't going to go away. He could never make those feelings go away. The rest of the week had been the internal battle. He didn't want to try anymore. He knew he couldn't rid himself of this. Blaine would have given anything. He would have given up the world to be cured, to be able to look his father in the eye and know that everything was right in the world. But now, how could his father let a 'fag' run the corporation. He was the only son in the line of the family. How could he have let this happen to his kin? Those were the thoughts that had corrupted him this past week, weakening his spirit down until it was barely there. This day, however, had been the worst. The events of last night concerning Rachel had brought Blaine lower than he had ever been. There was no going back now.

The night had brought him here. Navy Pier. Usually a place with cheerful kids, rebellious teenagers and large amounts of tourists. Now though, at three in the morning, the boardwalk was deserted. That was even strange. Usually there were a couple people, walking off their martinis or couples taking a moonlight walk. Not tonight. The whole pier was deserted. Blaine took it as a sign from God, that is if God existed. The lack of people was a sign. If no one was around to stop him, then it must be the right thing to do. It was a cool night tonight. The lake had brought a nice breeze into the shore, one that calms people's spirits, make them feel alright with the world. With all the cold sweat rolling down Blaine's forehead, he couldn't even feel the breeze. To him the world was silent, ignoring the act that was about to happen. He begin to walk the long road to the end of the pier. In his clammy right hand, there was a dark, shiny object. He knew the police wouldn't see it, they were out patrolling the downtown area, not the pier where no one was anyway. Blaine had bought the gun from a private dealer that his father knew. He had made up the story that he had wanted to be protected, you know with the bad economy and all. The gun dealer had understood. For a large sum of money, he had bought the gun without a license. You could get anything if you had the funds. Anything except a second chance at yourself. No amount of money can erase the memory of your history.

As the planks of the boardwalk creaked under his moving footsteps, he heard Rachel's screams in his ears. He had told her last night. He had taken Peter's advice and shared with her the deepest secret that he had kept from everything. It had been his last chance at salvation. He had that that, maybe, if Rachel could still accept him, he could learn to accept himself. Unfortunately, that wasn't the way it had happened. Blaine had tried to set Rachel down quietly but even before he could get anything out, he had tears running down his cheeks. When he finally took a breath and told her, she sat there, a look of utter shock on her face. He had told her everything. Everything about Peter and Carson and what had happened. He had told her about trying to fight back the feelings that he still had for guys. After a moment of utter silence, the screaming had started. Rachel had begun with "how could you do this to me" and by the end of the discussion she had slammed the door in his face after saying "GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU FAGGOT". That hideous word. Those two syllables that he had been so desperately trying to get away from had just punched him in the face. She had been the last person that he could trust to help him through this and even she had been repulsed by his curse. That night, he had gone off the deep end. There was no salvation to be found for Blaine.

So here he stood. At the end of Navy Pier ready to end his life. It was the only way. The only way that he could cure his family of this disease that had plagued him for so long. His whole body was shaking violently. He couldn't even hold the gun still as he raised it up to his right temple. This was it, he couldn't go back now. He had left no note to his family. There was nothing that he could say to them to explain himself. He had let them down, he had betrayed their trust and the legacy of the entire family. Rachel would be glad when he was gone. Peter could go live his life with his new boyfriend and not have to worry about Blaine ever again. Now, with the gun pointed at his brain, Blaine's thoughts were empty. He could feel the wind of the lake coming to take away the sweat. He could hear the waves lapping up against the wood columns. This is what he would miss the most. This earth. The sun and the water. The wind in his hair. Salty tears stained his cheeks and stung his eyes. He wondered if there was a heaven. What would happen to him after it had happened. Blackness? The notorious white light? His thoughts dissipated, he would know soon enough.

outfit: will find it later.
tag: peter
words: 989
layout: (c)xxmizzbry of caution! 2.0
banner: (c)xxmizzbry of caution! 2.0

[peter bergan walker]

I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend
You could cut ties with all the lies, that you've been living in
And if you do not want to see me again
I would understand, I would understand
The angry boy, a bit too insane
Icing over a secret pain
You know you don't belong
You're the first to fight
You're way too loud
You're the flash of light on a burial shroud
I know something's wrong

It had been a rough day already for Peter. He had gotten a letter earlier in his campus mailbox saying that unless he were to pull his grades up he would lose his scholarship. That wouldn't be a good thing. Without the scholarship Peter wouldn't be able to attend Harding. He would have to live at home and that just wasn't something that he wanted. Peter had received the letter the night before and just reading it had given him a headache. Really, Peter had hated to cancel on Ashton right after coming up with the idea, but there was no way that he would really be able to enjoy a movie after that. Besides, the whole fake relationship thing was starting to get to Peter. He had a hard time with it because it felt more natural than he had suspected. Ashton even had to remind him once that it was fake... not real. Peter thought it was a bad idea anyway. Why couldn't he just let Blaine think that he was still single? That wouldn't be so bad. Sure it would have been a little degrading since Blaine was perfectly happy with a beautiful girl friend and public affection.

As Peter started out the day he was in sort of a bum mood. He knew that he wouldn't be able to stay in his room . Staying in his room would mean that he would be bored and have too much to think about. Peter sat up in his bed, running his hand through his hair. It was rare that Peter just didn't want to wake up, but this was an off morning. Licking his lips Peter put his feet on the floor and stood from the bed. He walked toward the bathroom and shut the door behind him. After taking a shower and brushing his teeth, Peter left the bathroom, feeling a little more refreshed, but not much better. Something was weird about the day. Peter was starting to think that it wasn't just his being upset about the letter that was messing with him. There was something else or so it seemed. Peter tried his best to push that thought out of his mind as he walked to his closet, picking through the shirts hanging in there. Finally Peter settled for a plain black t-shirt and a pair of jeans.

Peter, after fully dressing himself, decided to go home for a little bit. His father's house was only a few blocks from Harding and it wasn't hard to get to. Luckily, his father wasn't home. Peter didn't hate his dad, though he probably should, and he didn't like to think about how his father wouldn't be able to make it without him and Carson. Peter didn't think his father would admit that...ever... but Peter believed it. He sat in his room for the longest time, staring at the ceiling from the twin bed in the bed room that had belonged to Carson and himself. There were so many memories tacked onto the room and Peter figured that those memories were part of what kept him coming back. The empty house was beginning to creep Peter out. He kept imagining things... sounds... it was uncomfortable. Peter had never really enjoyed being in the house alone. Finally, when Peter heard a car pull up in the driveway, Peter knew it was time to leave. Quickly gathering himself together, Peter climbed off the bed and opened his bedroom door, heading down the hall toward the living room.

Looking up, meeting his father's hateful gaze, Peter bit his lower lip. He slowly moved toward the front door, "Hey, Dad..." Peter said cautiously. "I was, um, just leaving." Cain Walker seemed to just watch Peter until Peter reached the door. Peter winced at the storm of profanity that hit his ears. Unable to take it, Peter quickly opened the front door and hurried out before he was stuck there. It had been a dumb move to go there anyway. Peter looked up at the sky. The sun was already starting to move west, which meant that it was getting late. Peter walked down to the Navy Pier. One good thing about living in Chicago all his life was that he was used to walking most of the places in Chicago because he had no car and wasn't a huge fan of riding in cabs. As Peter reached the peer he glanced around, watching some of the people that were around. This was just one evening that Peter didn't want to deal with a lot of people. He just wanted to go somewhere where it would be quite and relaxing. He decided to walk further down where it seemed there weren't too many people.

Peter finally reached the boardwalk, looking down as he walked. It was a little more relaxing, but not much. Looking up, Peter's eyes focused on the scene in front of him. There was a familiar form at the end of the pier with what looked like the silhouette of a gun. Peter's breath caught in his throat. No... Peter immediately started running as fast as he could. "BLAINE!" He yelled at the top of his lungs. Peter didn't want Blaine to die... especially not right there in front of him. His eyes started to burn and moisten. He didn't know what to do other than get there before Blaine could do anything. "Stop, Blaine..." Peter begged as he closed in. "Please, just..." He maneuvered himself in front of Blaine. Peter was a small boy so it was really no huge problem for him to get in front. "Blaine..." He said quietly, slowly reaching up to lower Blaine's Arm. "Talk to me, Blaine... don't, you know... don't do that."

[blaine matthew cronn.]

He could feel the cold metal ring firm against his temple although his whole body was now shaking violently. They say that your life flashes before your eyes right before you die. Blaine's was reeling through memories as he stood there, before his fingers had built up enough courage to tighten. He no longer saw the endless black lake in front of him. He saw Blaine, age five, pretending to count monopoly money on the floor of his father's office. The dark mahogany of an office that would compete for his father's attention for the rest of his childhood. The memories switched to his first gala at age ten, trying to be mature so that he could sit with the grown-ups while they talked business and drank champagne. The vision of his bright blue eyes looking up with wonder at his father, schmoozing the crowd. That was when he had known. This was what he was born for. He could make his family proud if he could be like that. Charismatic, intelligent....normal. Scenes of his adolescence rolled by. Private Schools, fancy parties, watching his father's business become one of the wealthiest in the nation. Then Peter. Peter's face burned Blaine's eyes, making more tears roll down his wet face. Clips of the secret nights, the laughing, the sharing of secrets. The freeze frame of Peter's face when he caught Carson and him. Blaine's heart still ached at the picture. The rest had been a blur with everything stopping at Rachel yelling in his face.

Could he have prevented it? Could he have stopped this downfall of his life? He could of had it all; the wealth, the fame. Peter's face once again came into view. That's all he wanted. To be loved for who he was. To be able to be with the people that he wanted to be with and still be able to be accepted by his family. He just wanted to be himself. He wasn't good enough. That was the answer. Blaine just wasn't good enough to be in both worlds. And this past year, he had tried leaving one behind but it had worn him down. He couldn't do it. He coudn't be just one half of himself and he couldn't be everything. He just couldn't be. So he was going to fix it. He was going to fix everything so that everyone would be happy in the end. So what if he had to sacrifice himself, he would be satisfying everyone else. That was all he had ever wanted.

He was just about to force his finger muscles into action when the familiar scream hit his ears. From this point, he had been crying but his breathing had been regulated, controlled. His name being yelled like that had knocked the air right out of him. When his breaths did come back, they were shallow and quick. He knew that voice. No. I'm doing this for you. He thought in his head, but he knew, somewhere deep down, that his trigger finger was no longer going to move. Running footsteps against the wood hit his ears harshly. Blaine couldn't move, he was just frozen in fear. Fear of what he might of done had he not heart that scream. Before he knew it, he was staring Blaine in the eyes, fear transferred between them. He noticed the tears in Peter's eyes. It was becoming harder and harder for Blaine to breath for his body was now shaking harder than ever before. Even the gun had started to vibrate. He felt Peter's warm hand against his arm, helping his lower the gun down to his side. It was almost as if he had come out of a trance. Blaine had just had a gun to his head. He let it slip through his fingers and heard it clang against the wood planks.

"Peter, I...." There were no words. He had only wanted to say his name. This was the end. This was the end of pretending. Blaine was taken over by fear and exhaustion and his legs buckled under him, sending him to his knees. This was the first time that Blaine had openly wept. He couldn't keep in his sadness any longer like he had been taught to do his entire life.

outfit: clicky
tag: peter
words: only 716? weeird...
layout: (c)xxmizzbry of caution! 2.0
banner: (c)xxmizzbry of caution! 2.0

[peter bergan walker]

I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend
You could cut ties with all the lies, that you've been living in
And if you do not want to see me again
I would understand, I would understand
The angry boy, a bit too insane
Icing over a secret pain
You know you don't belong
You're the first to fight
You're way too loud
You're the flash of light on a burial shroud
I know something's wrong

Peter was afraid. He was afraid that Blaine would sit there and do something stupid. What happened to all the happiness he had seen at the mall? Where the hell was that fucking girlfriend of his and why wasn't her ass down here helping Blaine?! Peter was filled with a dangerous mix of upset, sad, and angry. All he wanted was for Blaine to put the gun down. His heart wouldn't be able to take it if Blaine killed himself. Even though Peter didn't know the real reason Blaine was up there with a gun pointed to his head... there was a deep feeling in his gut that it might be because of him. Peter would do anything. He would end the fake relationship with Ashton the week was up anyway, he would talk to Blaine everyday it he needed to, constantly be around Blaine... all to make sure that Blaine was okay. Just knowing that Blaine was up here trying to kill himself told Peter that he had failed. Peter knew exactly where he failed too and that hurt the most. The memory was so vivid in Peter's mind.

The day had started with an argument between himself and Blaine. It was the same argument they always fought. Peter didn't want them to be a secret and Blaine did. The same argument plagued their relationship. Pete just didn't want to think that Blaine was that ashamed of him. He was convinced that if he met Blaine's family... he had just enough charisma to get him by. But Blaine seemed to think differently. For a while Peter was able to deal with not being public, but when things began to get more serious... the argument flared again. This time it was much worse. Peter could remember saying some things that he probably shouldn't have said. All he knew was that Blaine didn't stay that night. Instead, Blaine went with Carson to a club. Peter hadn't wanted to jump to conclusions. But upon receiving a text from Blaine's phone asking him to come to a certain place... well, Peter wished that he hadn't gone. He had been thinking that Blaine just wanted to settle the argument but it was more than that.

Before the memory could get out of hand, Peter pushed it out of his head. There was no reason to be thinking like that. Peter was glad to finally hear the gun drop to the boardwalk. He drew in a deep breath as Blaine lowered to his knees. Peter really wasn't sure what to do. If he were the cause, then how could he be any help? Finally, Peter lowered down to his knees wrapping his arms around Blaine. "Blaine..." Peter choked out in a broken tone. He placed a hand on Blaine's cheek pulling away to that he could look Blaine in the eyes. "I... thought I was going to lose you forever. What about your family? What about Rachel?.... What about me, Blaine?" He didn't know what else to say. What was there to say? Peter was at a loss for words mostly because he didn't know how to make Blaine feel better... if there were anything. "Blaine, baby, look at me please." Peter said finally. His eyes shifted from Blaine to the gun that lay on the boardwalk.

Licking his lips, Peter reached for the gun. He held it in his hands for a moment. Peter didn't like how mean guns looked. It felt like too much power was in one object. Shaking his head, Peter emptied the gun of the bullets and tossed the gun off the boardwalk, listening for the splash in the water. Peter looked back to Blaine, trying to calm himself down. At least he had gotten rid of the chances of Blaine succeeding in killing himself. "Blaine... please tell me why you were... I mean... just... why?" He needed an answer and he desperately hoped that it wasn't him. Peter had a little problem called caring too much. He had a big heart and knowing that someone, especially Blaine, was hurt because of him... to the point of wanting to end his life.

[blaine matthew cronn.]

His body nearly convulsing now, Blaine felt Peter's warm arms wrapping around him and positioned himself so that his face was buried in Peter's chest. It was more to hide his face from the embarrassment than anything else. He had missed these arms for so long. Peter had been the one to open Blaine up to expressing your emotions physically. Hugs had never been an option in his family. Now, letting his body go limp in Peter's arms, it was the embrace that he had been needing for for a long time. This was the breakdown. This was nineteen years of pressure to do everything right, pressure to hide your problems, pressure to be perfect falling apart. He could no longer hear the waves crashing up against the pier, the wind rushing between the buildings. There was only the rapid beat of Peter's heart next to his ear and the frantic, worried words. The nice collared shirt and suit jacket that he had been wearing had felt so natural on him a couple minutes ago. It had been the only thing he had identified with, the one thing that he could trust in. Now, it felt as though it was suffocating him. He just wanted to be free. Free of this disguise that he had hid behind for so long.

He felt Peter's hand beneath his chin, lifting him out of his hiding spot. He thought that looking into Peter's eyes would be one of the hardest things to do right now but for some reason, once their gaze was locked, he couldn't look away. He never wanted to look at anything ever again. He managed to clear his mind to form words as Peter asked him why. "I...couldn't keep letting people down." As he begin explaining himself, his embarrassment crept back in. His blue eyes flicked to the gun laying beside them. "Blaine, baby, look at me please." His eyes focused back on Peter, trying to push the innate fear of that gun to the back of his mind. Relief surged through his body as Peter unarmed the gun and threw it into the lake below. That gun had stood for so much to Blaine. All of his secrets, all of that pressure.

As Peter put his focus back on him, Blaine tried to calm his shaking body down. Deep breaths were still interrupted by short bursts of choking up, tears still spilling from his eyes. Part of him was ashamed of this, this release. "Peter..." Blaine said, trying to find comfort in his eyes. It took him several minutes just to calm down enough to be able to talk and when he did start to talk it was in short bursts, almost inaudible at times. " I....i can't be both people....I can't...be the person that my family...needs me to be...I don't want to live this secret life anymore..." Blaine's thoughts were scrambled in all different directions. There were so many things that needed to be said. He just didn't know which ones to start with. "I don't want to think I'm diseased anymore...This isn't...something I can cure...." Blaine made sure to reiterate himself. "I don't want to 'be cured'....I just want...to please everyone that...I care about....and...I can't.." This realization of defeat was something that Blaine had never thought would happen. He had been raised that he could accomplish anything if he tried hard enough. This thought of defeat had caused another bought of shaking and weeping, holding Peter so hard as if he was afraid he would float away.

outfit: clicky
tag: peter
words: 591....i suck...hard.
layout: (c)xxmizzbry of caution! 2.0
banner: (c)xxmizzbry of caution! 2.0

[peter bergan walker]

<sup>Peter didn't like how Blaine was shaking so badly. He just wanted everything to be okay. Was that too much to ask for? Peter mentally cursed himself. It was all his fault that Blain even had a secret life. If it weren't for Peter, then Blaine would have been out enjoying himself rather than sitting on a boardwalk threatening to take his life. Peter just sat there with his arms around Blaine. He didn't think there was anything else he could do. Honestly, what was there to do when it was his fault? Peter bit his lower lip, trying to keep his thoughts calm. That just wasn't happening, though. His mind jumped from thought to thought so quickly that he almost couldn't see straight. This was all... just... Peter didn't know what to do and it was killing him! There had to be something he could say or do. The longer Blaine sat there and shook in his arms, the more Peter realized... that maybe this time he was useless. After nineteen years of being told that very thing... this was the first time that Peter actually believed it.

When Peter finally locked eyes with Blaine he understood a lot of things. He could see a lot in Blaine's fear filled eyes. Peter was glad that Blaine started speaking. Letting people down? Peter wanted to go into a speech about how killing himself would let everyone down. But it wasn't the time for a speech and he didn't like how Blaine kept glancing at the gun. It really seemed like the best thing to do was get rid of the gun. After the gun was gone Peter felt like the situation would be a little better. Peter still felt like he hadn't done much to help. He still didn't know what was going on inside Blaine's head. That kind of scared him. It added a lot of unpredictability to the situation. Blaine was important to Peter. Sure there were a lot of things that had happened to separate them a year ago... there had been the arguments, the stress of secrecy, and the whole thing with Carson... and their relationship just couldn't survive all of that. It left Peter wondering if things would be any different after this. Peter couldn't help but think that maybe he needed to be with Blaine... just... make sure that nothing else like this happened.

Peter listened quietly as Blaine explained how he had been feeling. "You don't want to live a secret life anymore? Then don't, Blaine!" He urged finally after Blaine had finished speaking. "I know your family puts a lot of pressure on you, and that sucks, Blaine... it really does, but you don't have to keep your life a secret." He sighed, drawing Blaine back into his arms. "I don't know how long it's going to take me to convince you that it was never a disease. There was never nothing to be cured of, Blaine... it's like trying to fix something that was never broken." Peter finally began to calm himself down a little bit. "I'm sorry, Blaine, but you... you can't make everyone happy. No one can make everyone happy. It's one of the few impossible things in this world." Peter felt like he was giving a talk that he didn't need to be giving. He didn't really think that it was his place. "I'm not going to tell you to go tell your parents about everything... but you need to start thinking about yourself for once. Don't worry about what your parents think or rachel.... or even me, Blaine. Don't worry about us. The only one you need to prove anything to is yourself."

Peter sighed softly, rubbing his hand over Blaine's back. "Just tell me what I can do... I want to be there for you Blaine." He really did want to be there. Peter figured that was the least he could do after all the trouble he had caused Blaine. "I promise, Blaine, I won't pressure you about the secrecy thing anymore... just... tell me what you need me to do and I'll do it."</sup>

[blaine matthew cronn.]

Although tears were still pouring from his eyes, Blaine's body had calmed itself down a bit, no longer violently shaking. The initial shock was starting to wear out. Without the gun's presence looming over him, Blaine could start figuring out in his head what had brought him to this dark place, why it had ever gotten this bad. He had never thought of himself as someone who would try to commit suicide. He had always thought people that did that were just cowards, not able to face the bad things in life. He had a very different perspective on it now. This wasn't the complete dog eat dog world that his family had chosen to live in. It was a world where everyone needed someone to survive. We all relied on each other to get by. The importance of those necessary relationships was just beginning to dawn on him. He sat there, wrapped in someone's arms that cared about him, that would actually help him get up when he fell. He had never thought he had had that before. Truth was, he had had that the moment he had met Peter.

His crying was becoming less violent now, more steady, gentle tears rolling down his cheeks than the sudden outbursts. It was the calm after the storm. It was the realization after the breakdown. He nodded as Peter began to speak. Before, he would have just brushed Peter's words off, trying to convince himself that Peter was wrong about everything. Now, Blaine would believe anything Peter told him because he was one of the few people that Blaine could trust now. His family had never been one to talk to about serious things. Their policy had been 'figure it out yourself, it will make you stronger'. Listening to Rachel would be out of the question. Blaine thought about how he hadn't met one person that he could consider a good friend in the past year, they had all been just socialites, people that he could go out and party with. "There is nothing to be cured off... Blaine." He had wanted to hear those words for so long. For so long all he had wanted to hear was that it was okay to be this way. Okay to be homosexual. Blaine actually gave a little smile through the mass of tears. "I know. I know that now."

Peter went on to talk about how no one can make everyone happy. This still hurt a little to hear. Blaine was such a people pleaser, that statement seemed to counter his thoughts about the world. But he knew Peter was right. That was something that Blaine would have to work extremely hard at to get over though. He knew at this moment that all of these things that had to be fixed about him would take time to fix. Blaine had to be patient. "The only one you need to prove anything to is yourself." Deep down, Peter's words rang true. He had spent his life so far living for other people; for his father...for Rachel. It was time to do something for himself for a change. It wouldn't be easy. Blaine could never see himself as a selfish person and knew that doing things for himself would feel wrong at first. But it needed to be done. He had shown himself that tonight. Things had to change or he wouldn't make it. He felt Peter's hand rubbing his back. Thank God for Peter. That was all that Blaine could think of right now. He closed his eyes, feeling the wind drying his cheeks, even if only momentarily.

"I need a friend, Peter. I need you to help me get through this." At this point Blaine didn't really know what to think by Peter's comment about arguing with him. Maybe he was just reading to much into it. Besides, he had to remember that Peter had a boyfriend. He had forgotten about that fact until this moment. Suddenly, things had changed. Blaine started to consciously try to calm himself down. Blaine knew that Peter wasn't lying when he said he would do anything for Blaine. However, Blaine couldn't ask for that. He couldn't ask for the one thing that he wanted the most...Peter. Blaine looked into Peter's eyes, his tears still slightly stinging. "Just make sure you are there to give me a reality check. Okay?" Blaine took a breath. He had been thinking about saying something, but now, remembering that Peter had a boyfriend, there was no way he was going to tell him. He wasn't going to put Peter in that position. That was just unfair. "I Love You." He thought to himself, making sure not to look like he was holding anything back. Blaine tried to smile. Even though he had just had a gun to his head a few minutes ago, Blaine was thinking more clearly than he had been in a long time. He knew that only himself would be able to fix this. It wouldn't come from outside but within. He just wanted to make sure that Peter was going to be there for him while he did it. Inside, it hurt. It hurt knowing that he couldn't have the one he loved. This was how it was going to be though. Blaine was going to have to deal with this issue and so many more. No one said healing was easy.

outfit: clicky
tag: peter
words: 836. ooh yea, back in the game. lol
layout: (c)xxmizzbry of caution! 2.0
banner: (c)xxmizzbry of caution! 2.0

[peter bergan walker]

<sup>Peter was super glad that Blaine had calmed down some. He really felt like shit. There were a million reasons Peter could come up with that it could be his fault Blaine was out here with a gun to his head. He didn't like that feeling and he really didn't like knowing that Blaine was in that state of mind. As much as Blaine may have thought Peter hated him... he didn't. Peter didn't want Blaine to die. His heart would break. It wasn't that Peter was still that caught up on Blaine, but more that he still considered Blaine to be an important person in his life. Losing Blaine like that would just tear him apart... especially if it were his fault in the first place. It was a good thing Peter had been in the right place at the right time.

What really made Peter happy was that Blaine no longer thought he was diseased. At first Peter had been offended when he found out that Blaine thought of it that way. Obviously it had to have been something that his family had forced on him. That he knew of Blaine hadn't thought that when they had been dating. If Blaine had, then Peter had never known about it. All he knew was that Blaine hadn't wanted to go public. Then again, maybe that was is. Maybe even then Peter had been a disease that Blaine couldn't get rid of. That could be why Blaine slept with Carson... to get rid of the disease. Peter had never been told the real reason for the cheating, but he really didn't want to know anymore.

Blaine wanted him to be there for him. It sounded easy, buy most things that sounded easy were actually pretty hard. "Okay, Blaine." Peter said with a nod. "If a reality check is what you need, then I will gladly be there to give it to you." That was a promise that Peter hoped he was good enough to keep. He was afraid that when worse came to worse it might be a challenge. There were still a lot of things that were unsettled between himself and Blaine. Peter tried not to think about those things. It wasn't the time to think about those things. He sighed softly, glad that the worst was over. He smiled, "You know I'll be there when you need me. I'm only a call and or text away. Now. let's get you back to your dorm before the police decide to come question us or something."


ooc: sorry xx short, i know.</sup>