these walls are falling down;; Ashton

[peter bergan walker]

Stop, tell me the truth
'Cause I'm so confused
Spinning round these walls are falling down and I need you
More than you know
I'm not letting go
I'm getting close
So take my hand
And please just tell me why

Ashton was acting pretty weird. Peter didn't understand it and usually he wouldn't question it. He had seen only a few times when Ashton would slip a little, but only the times when Peter was made at him for something. But this was different... this was worse. It didn't last for just a minute... it lasted for a while and Ashton said some things that really hurt Peter. The main thing was the phrase, "I think we need to break up." Peter didn't want that. Maybe he had imagined things were going well. At first Peter thought that it meant Ashton was just going a little nuts... but AShton had continued, saying that he dind't want to worry about Peter anymore. That whole part of their conversation nearly had Peter in tears. It wasn't like he hadn't gone through a break up before... but he had such high hopes. Peter spent most of the rest of the conversation wondering if that was it... if that was the end of them as a couple.

Pushing away from his computer, Peter sighed heavily. He was glad, at least, that Ashton wanted to take it back. But naturally Peter's mind was already working. He didn't even bother changing clothes or showering like he usually would when he would go over to Ashton's. Peter just grabbed his dorm key and slipped out the door. Walking swiftly toward the exit of the dorms, Peter bit his lower lip. He hated having so much to think about and so little time to think about it. A few people Peter knew attempted to get Peter talking, but he just brushed past them without a word. Most people at Harding knew that when Peter didn't speak something serious was happening. The otherwise happy-go-lucky boy was a bit more silent and brooding. Peter had promised Ashton that he would hurry and that's what he intended to do. As Pete motioned for a cab he began to think about what could have caused Ashton to freak out.

Deep down Peter knew what it was. He knew that Ashton didn't start getting that way until he broke the news about having to go home every weekend. Peter felt really bad about that. No matter what Ashton said... if it would help a little, then Peter would stay with Ashton and just not go home. If Carson could skip, then so could he. Peter closed his eyes, trying to relax a little in the back of the cab as he let his thoughts flood him. A sudden realization hit Peter that he didn't really want to admit was real though it came to him in the form of a question. Was this really the end of him an Ashton? Was is supposed to be the end of him and Ashton? Peter just wasn't sure if he should let Ashton take back what he had said. Even though Peter was worried about it, of Ashton didn't want to worry, then Peter would do what he could to keep that from happening. Peter just wanted the best for AShton and if it meant breaking up so Ashton wouldn't have anything to worry about... then Peter would just have to do that.

It hurt a lot for Peter to think he would be giving up someone how made him so happy. Sure he and Ashton had some arguments, but what couple didn't? The point was that no matter how many times they had disagreed about something... Ashton had always made Peter happy. But the one thing that came before his own happiness was Ashton's. As the cab pulled up at Camden, Peter knew what he had to do. He had to break up with Ashton. Peter frowned as he walked toward Ashton's room. He got a few nasty looks, but that was no doubt because he looked like Carson. Peter stopped outside Ashton's room. A selfish part of Peter told him that he couldn't break up with Ashton... was it even possible? Peter didn't bother with knocking, he just pushed the door open and slowly walked in. He was still worried about Ashton a lot. What if Ashton had just gotten worse while Peter was on his way over? There was really no way to tell. He was starting to wish that he had at least texted Ashton to keep him relatively stable.

Peter moved further in slowly, "Ashton, I'm here." He said softly. Peter hated what he knew he had to do. He had to tell Ashton that he couldn't take those things back. What had been said was said... and there was nothing they could do about it. But a large Peter was just concerned that it was the relationship that was causing this. The smaller, though stronger, part of Peter told him that he should just comfort Ashton and let him know that he was there for him no matter what. That smaller part urged Peter to kiss Ashton, hug him, and whisper confidence in his ear... but Peter had to fight back that smaller part of him. He had to... Peter was diving deep into something he didn't quite understand and it scared him. What was he supposed to do? Peter couldn't make up his mind. End it? Don't end it? His mind was working in overdrive, but he just needed to see if Ashton was okay.

[ashton cole johnson]

<sup>Ashtons head felt like a ton of bricks. He almost couldnt lift it, he felt like he had a crap ton of caffeine and was now having the worst come down ever. He could barely read the screen anymore and he just wanted to curl up and go to sleep. There had been so much going on inside of him that he hadnt been able to control lit and it freaked him out. This has happened to him a couple times before, not very many and he never knows what triggers it. He just knows that lately hes been having a hard time being by himself. He didnt like thinking that he needed peter all the time. He just didnt think that was right or healthy and the fact that he personally didnt think it was HIM well... it was settling even worse with him.

The more he talked to pete about the times hes gone the more and more his chest got tighter and tighter. It wasnt just that pete would be gone, but he couldnt even go with pete, he knew bad things happened to pete. Pete came home with stiches for crying out loud! He hated that. Ashton was not the best guy to be around, but peter was his boyfriend and that accounted for something so obviously he cared about pete and what other people did to him. He hated when his brother abused him and he hated even worse when his dad did. Ashton couldnt do a damn thing he didnt like being the pansy ass boyfriend that just sat back and let their boyfriend come back hurt and the only thing he could do was comfort. He didnt like feeling useless.

That mixed with so much more and he was already feeling restless and depressed. It just heightened to alluding to death in a sense and then his head exploded. He normally heard voices, but usually they were really foggy and he just thought everyone had voices. Concience speaking you know. But this time they got higher and louder as if trying to talk over one another or fighting he just.. he wasnt sure what. one was louder, meaner and he knew it was telling him it was best to break up with pete that he didnt need pete and what pete brought him. It said pete was only going to leave him that theyd gotten through enough to have it all fall apart over one measly ass little guy.

The other voice protested greatly but it wasnt until ashton finally told pete they should break up that the voice really broke through. He really wanted to just drop his head against his desk a couple hundred times. He didnt know if this was good angel bad angel like you see on the movies, he never thought they existed. He just thought he was going crazy, maybe he was. They were part of him werent they? He didnt get why he wished he could go in someone elses head just to see if he really wasnt losing his mind that it was normal, but that was impossible. Everything screamed out at him, nothing looked write, hed torn apart his bed, his closet his drawers. The computer was off center, the desk wasnt even, the room was too hot or it was too cold nothing was right.

Ashton wanted to take back his words as soon as they were out, but it felt as if he had no control over his fingers like he was there, but his movements were robotic, what he was saying... he had a calming over him almost he could still feel the jittery in him but this was starting to over power him. He tried to fight it a little but his mind just it started to hurt so much and then he just got so tired. He managed to ask pete if he could take it back but petes reply was not what he wanted. He knew pete probably wouldnt give it back to him, god he didnt deserve it back, but he wanted it. Whatever part of him thought it was the answer, but ashton knew if he lost pete it would just get worse and he wasnt sure if hed be able to get his mind back. he just wanted to be like before, he honestly didnt know that time. He kind of liked having someone in his life again. He thought he was over that, hed only wanted andy and what theyd almost had, but pete... pete was something else and he couldnt compare that. He used to in the beginning. Used to think that pete was no andy, but he was more and he affected him so much more then andy ever did.

Ashton stared at his screen for a few moments before standing up and swiping his hands across his desk sending his mouse and keyboard flying into the wall. he pulled his monitor plug from the wall and set it down. God he was tired. The desk was fine! no it wasnt? He didnt know how he could think it was fine. Hed told pete it was fine, hed told pete hed cleaned up but he hadnt. He told pete because he didnt want pete to think he was completely nuts, but really can you hide crazy forever. He was fucking crazy! he was like his goddamn parents... if they really had been his parents. For all he knows they adopted him. He ignored the 'event' they always spoke of, the one that turned god against him. Maybe the terrible event was they stole him from someone. Maybe they are burning in hell right now! serves them right. Crazy! all of them and now hes going right along with.

Ashton had been trying to figure a way to fix the table, but it was pointless right now he didnt have tools. He was fucking gay! All his tools were left back on his tractor! heh.. yeah. Ashton pulled the drawer to his desk open and grabbed his notebook. He ran a hand through his hair, it was a mess from when hed been practically pulling at it earlier. He grabbed his pen and started to write everything that hed just thought down. All about his parents, about how he was going to end up on a crazy farm and they should just put him down like they do dogs maybe like they used to back in the day. He wouldnt mind a bullet in the head, it was quick and easy and at least theyd be destroying the thing that caused him so many problems.

his angry chicken scratch strokes slowly turned to an almost childlike, big lettered words and he wasnt even aware of what he was writing. An episode of something that had happened while he had been abducted. A mans hand and him closing his eyes wishing of someplace else, like maybe Dorothy from the wizard of oz. He wrote the phrase that was always told to him. He was not wanted. That children should be seen not heard. No one will ever believe a little kid and he wrote of that place finally taking him away when he needed it. He wrote of everything made of candy, eating whatever he wanted and this time no wicked witch was going to be there to toss him into an oven like hansel and gretel.

His scrawling started to turn into lines and he was nearly passing out into his notebook when Petes voice startled him upright. He blinked huge, frightened eyes and his already young looking face almost looked even more so. Then he blinked again and rubbed his eyes, when he looked at pete again he looked like ashton, a tired mentally and emotionally beat ashton. He stood up forgetting his notebook and it fell to the floor as he walked over to him.

You actually came. there was a slight hesitant surprised sound to his voice and he bit his lip, rubbing at the back of his neck, eyes trained on his shoes now. Ashton let his lower lip go and he wet them a bit before looking back up at pete. Come on..' he reached out and took petes hand leading him over to the bed, the only clean thing at the moment save for the wrinkles hed put in it when he had sat on it earlier and his pillows being in slight disarray. Ashton pulled himself up and then pulled at petes hand wanting him to lay down as well, he wanted to wrap his arms around him and curl right into him as soon as possible. This was probably the most vulnerable hed ever looked in front of someone and he was trying desperately to pull himself together.</sup>

[peter bergan walker]

<sup>Peter honestly didn't like what he saw. Ashton had said that he straightened everything up, but Peter saw a room that was nearly in complete disarray. He didn't like even more the look on Ashton's face when he looked up. It looked for a moment like Ashton was afraid of him. Peter didn't like thinking that Ashton was afraid of him. He watched as Ashton rubbed his eyes and it nearly broke Peter's heart to see Ashton like this. Ashton was... he was... he was strong! Ashton was the strong one who could stand up to anything and was invincible! Peter knew he was supposed to be the emotional, stressed one! Peter looked around the room, taking in the damage that had been done. His brown eyes scanned over the computer desk... the keyboard and mouse pushed off and the monitor unplugged and pushed back. Then there was the closet, one of the things Ashton had said he fixed, all disheveled. Peter definitely didn't like it. This was worse than he had ever seen Ashton before and it... he wanted to fix it. Peter wanted to just be there for Ashton so that he didn't have to feel like this anymore.

As Ashton stood Peter watched the notebook fall to the floor. He looked up as Ashton drew closer to him. Peter was so tempted to just reach out and draw Ashton into a gigantic hug and console him... tell him that everything was okay and he was there for him. He nodded in response to Ashton, "Of course I came..." Peter said, trying to keep his voice from breaking from the worry. "I'm here for you." He had so much more that he wanted to say, but none of it was coming out. Ashton finally broke his silence by grabbing his hand and urging him to come. Pete nodded, slowly following Ashton to the bed. It... felt nice... Ashton holding his hand. Ashton didn't hold his hand that often. Peter knew that Ashton wasn't into all of the soft, romantic stuff and he respected that. He wouldn't force anything on Ashton. Peter just... he didn't even think that it mattered anymore. Peter wasn't sure that the two of them would make it too long, but he still had doubts about that. He didn't want it to end... there was just no way he could let it end.

Peter gently pulled his hand away from Ashton. "Hold on just a few minutes." He didn't like seeing Ashton's room so messed up. It was usually so well kept and straightened up. Peter started at Ashton's computer desk, picking up the keyboard and mouse, placing them where he knew them to have been placed before and straightening up the monitor and plugging it back in. He moved toward the notebook on the floor and picked it up. Normally Peter would have respected Ashton's privacy, but he couldn't help but glance at the scribbled words. Upon reading some of them Peter came to a stop. He closed the notebook and looked up to Ashton. Ashton had never been open about his past. But part of what Peter just read gave him a good idea of what may have happened. Peter turned away from Ashton so that Ashton couldn't see his eyes start to tear up. He didn't want Ashton to think he was being sympathetic or anything... no, it just broke Peter's heart to know that Ashton had gone through something like that.

Suddenly Peter felt like a major jerk. He had been so preoccupied with his own past that he hadn't realized that Ashton's situation might not be much better. It appeared to Peter that Ashton's was worse. He lay the notebook down on Ashton's computer desk and silently moved to Ashton's closet. He didn't mind cleaning Ashton's room for him. It actually made Peter feel a little better about things. After Peter finished Ashton's closet he moved back to the bed and crawled up next to Ashton. Peter's mind wouldn't stop turning. He didn't know what had been going through Ashton's head before, but he did now. Peter had a better idea of what he was going through Ashton's head when he had these little episodes. Knowing that... made Peter realize that was was a fucking idiot for ever thinking that he wouldn't let Ashton take it back. Peter couldn't believe how dense he had been! He needed Ashton... and it seemed like Ashton needed him. Pete just couldn't come to terms with how badly he had almost fucked that up. He didn't ever want to think like that again.

Peter lay next to Ashton, brushing his fingertips across Ashton's cheek before leaning in and kissing Ashton's forehead. "I'm here, okay? I'm here and I'm never going to leave you." Peter drew in a deep breath. "You can take it back, Ash. I decided you can... and it's... we'll... it'll be like nothing ever happened." Closing his eyes for a moment, Peter tried to get his thoughts together. He had to get himself together or this would really not be a good thing. "I know it hasn't been that long, but I mean... don't let this freak you out... but it feels like it has, you know? To me it does. I really care about you, okay? I do... I care a lot." Peter had to stop the rambling. He scooted in closer to Ashton, wrapping his arms around him. He wanted Ashton to feel safe... Peter didn't know how much he could do for Ashton, but he wanted to at least do what he could.</sup>

[ashton cole johnson]

<sup>Ashton bit his lip and nodded as he said that of course he came that he was there for him. He was such a shitty boyfriend. Sure pete was there for him but he wasnt there for pete. C ouldnt be there for pete. Hell he even broke up with pete, what kind of a boyfriend does that? A shitty ass boyfriend thats what! Ashton frowned now. He wanted to make it up to pete, but he wasnt sure if he could, wasnt sure if hed get the chance.

When pete pulled away from him he frowned further and watched as he started to clean up his room. Pete... no.. its .. he sighed, his attempt barely had as much protest in it as he would have liked. He just didnt have the energy to argue and from the determined way pete was cleaning up he doubted pete would have listened to him. He still tried again. Pete... you dont have to. I will get it later. Pete didnt seem to stop though and soon his room was picked up. Ashton kept his eyes on peter as he finally came towards him and layed down next to him.

Ashton closed his yes at the press of petes lips to his forehead and the warm feel of his fingers on his cheeks. He scooted closer to pete and wrapped his arms around his waist and rested his head on his chest. Ashton wasnt normally like this, but sometimes he just really needed it. He tried to supress it usually but like now it was way to hard and he just didnt have it in him to hold it back. He scooted even more close to pete till they were practically melded together, he had even wrapped a leg around of of petes.

At petes words something inside of him tightened as if he couldnt believe he was actually getting it. He didnt want to take it too quickly in case maybe he was hearing things. What if pete decided he didnt want it back a little bit later. What if he changed his mind? He didnt want to deal with the let down again. He snuggled his head into his chest turning his face to press his nose into petes shirt, just breathing in his scent and warmth. Are You sure? he asked his voice muffled in the fabric.

When pete scooted closer and wrapped his own arms around ashton, ashton was already feeling much better. He was sure pete had magical healing powers. His hugs were like the ninth wonder of the world. He should really get him checked into some show. Then again that would exploit him and he didnt really want to share. bad enough he had to with some people around here, he wasnt willing to add the rest of the world to that list. At petes next words ashton nodded some, 'hmm'ing' in answer as he pressed his face into him again, fingers curling into his side. Pete smelled nice. Always did, he liked that a lot.</sup>

[peter bergan walker]

<sup>Peter wouldn't have stopped cleaning Ashton's room had Ashton even been able to get out a decent objection. He knew Ashton could do it later, but he didn't want Ashton to do it later. He wanted Ashton to worry about cleaning up his thoughts first before he worried about cleaning a room. Peter cleaned the room simply because he wanted Ashton to be able to focus on his thoughts rather than anything else. He didn't want to think that Ashton had really gotten that bad. The once orderly boy now a complete mess... Peter didn't like that nor would he stand for it. He was there to help and help he would do. But when the room was finally clean as it usually was, Peter felt a little better about the situation. Having the room clean made him feel like they could also pick up the situation and make it better somehow. Peter needed to be able to help Ashton and it hurt to think that maybe all he could do was pick up Ashton's room. At least that was something... right? Peter thought it was something. Maybe he was overestimating himself, but he needed to be there for Ashton.

As Ashton wrapped his arms around Peter's waist and rested his head at Peter's chest, Pete knew that he wouldn't be able to break any bad news to Ashton while he was like this. Peter refused to be another reason that someone would want to commit suicide. He thought about what Ashton had written in that notebook. It ran through his head more clearly than his own memories would. The thoughts left a bitter feeling in Peter. He didn't like it. He didn't like that Ashton felt like that even if it was just in a moment of weakness. Peter wanted Ashton to be happy... that wasn't happy. The things that Peter read in that notebook were not happy and he hated that. Peter liked being close to Ashton. It was rare that they were this close and not getting intimate, but Peter kind of liked thinking that he could comfort Ashton just by holding him there. Ashton wasn't the cuddling sort and again Peter met him halfway on that one. He never tried to force anything... sometimes all he wanted at night was just to lay down and hold Ashton's hand... but he never pressured.

Peter pressed his lips together firmly as Ashton asked him if he was sure about his decision to let him take it back. He really wasn't sure, but he didn't think he could go through with saying Ashton couldn't take it back. Peter gently brushed his fingers over Ashton's hair, "I'm sure, Ash. You can take it back. I promise I won't take that back either." He felt okay about his decision. Maybe Ashton wouldn't have another episode and break up with him again. Peter would always remember Ashton breaking up with him and no doubt it would probably cross his mind every time they argued about something in the future. That was something that Peter could deal with though. He was willing to deal with all of those things as they came. A lot of people said he had a lot of patience, and maybe he did... but the way Peter saw it... he was falling in love with Ashton and he wanted to do what he could to show that without it being all that obvious. This wasn't something Peter really wanted to screw up.

Still, even though Ashton had calmed down a lot, a million things ran through Peter's head. He kept thinking about what he read in that damn notebook. Would he ever get that out of his head? He didn't think it would be a good idea to bring it up to Ashton, but he still... was a little worried. Peter bit his lower lip, staring at the wall as he gently rubbed Ashton's back. "Ash..." He said softly. Everything in Peter told him that it was the wrong time... that he shouldn't do this and he was wasting his time saying it to a boy who had just broken up with him a little over an hour ago. But Peter was a determined boy and he knew deep down that he needed to. "I... think I love you... no pressure to say it back or anything... just want you to know."</sup>

[ashton cole johnson]

<sup>Ashton squeezed him a little. Thank you. he slipped his hand up feeling where there was a little strip of skin and he slid his hand up peters side. I dont know ... why, but... i really need you. Part of him wished he wasnt acting so vulnerable, wishing he could just suck it up right then and there and get everything back to normal, but that part felt like it was watching from a distance unable to take control like it wanted to at the moment.

Ashton leaned up and kissed the bottom of petes chin before snuggling back down. This was actually kind of nice, snuggling against pete like this, he wondered if this is what pete felt like when ashton let him do it. Naw probably not. Even though pete was small he wasnt all knobs and bones. Pete actually had a hugabliity about him where he personally didnt think he did. Not to mention the healing powers. There was no way he had healing powers in his arms, his arms were nothing threatening to waste away soon. Sometimes he wished there was more to him he wondered how pete could like even having sex with him, not like there was much to wrap his legs around.

Ashton was so comfortable right now, so... content and so... happy. Ashton kind of didnt want this to ever go away. Pete started to say something and ashton hummed an acknowledgment. Then the rest of the words came out and Ashton stilled, his body going stiff. He didnt know how to take it, what to say, what to do. His first instinct was to push away far far away but another part of him was keeping him there, keeping him rooted. The voices were getting at it again, ashtons hand flexed over and over again against petes skin.

There was a reasonable argument to run away and another reasonable argument to stay. He couldnt say it though, he didnt know that meaning, he wasnt going to start saying empty words like he knew them to be. He didnt think they were empty coming from peter though and that kind of had him confused and unsure of things agian. How could he have that belief and yet believe that peter did love him. Maybe he was just thinking this way because its pete, maybe pete really was just feeling sorry for him and saying it to make him feel better. People did that even without meaning it.

Ashton knew he had to do something, he could lay there stiff, pete might get the wrong idea and he had just gotten him back. Biting his lip he squeezed his eyes shut trying to drown out the voices as he demanded his body relax. Slowly his body started to curve back into pete. He wasnt sure what else to do or say. He just wasnt ready for that, didnt think he ever would. He at least knew he didnt want anyone right now other then pete, but what if that changed. You cant see the future and he doesnt want to promise something that might not last for as long as its supposed to.

I... he licked his lips a bit. I .. um .. fuck.. he had burried his head into his side again the last word practically inaudable against petes shirt. Finally he lifted his head again. I only want you...[ /b] he finished bluntly, his monotone sounding flat. most people would think it was a flat out lie somethign he would have said to shut someone up, but ashton meant it and he hoped pete knew that. Ashton layed his head back down again bringing his hand up further under petes shirt, his fingers absently stroking at the skin.</sup>

[peter bergan walker]

<sup>Hearing Ashton say that he needed him was enough to make Peter's mind up about something. He wasn't going home this weekend. That was it. Peter was going to skip and stay with Ashton. Sure he would pay for it later on, but he didn't care. Ashton needed him and Peter kind of liked feeling needed. He wanted to be there for Ashton... he wanted to be with Ashton. Ash had brought up a valid point a while ago. If Ash ever wanted to do something on the weekend... then Peter wouldn't be able to go. Peter was tired of thinking that he was letting his boyfriend down because of his dad. He knew his dad ruined everything. Most of the time Peter told himself that he was lucky because his dad treated him a lot better than he treated Carson... but it didn't feel lucky when he had to see Ashton get upset because of it. Peter made up his mind though. He wasn't going and Ashton couldn't make him go. There was no way that anyone could convince him to leave what he was in now. He felt warm, safe, and happy... no way would he leave that to go to cold, bitter, and horrible.

Peter liked how this felt. He liked holding Ashton in his arms and feeling Ashton's hand on his skin. Usually it was him that cuddled up to Ashton, but this time... it was Ashton cuddling up to him and it felt nice. Peter didn't mind Ashton's head buried into his chest and he certainly didn't mind Ashton's arms around him. He just wished this could last forever. It wasn't like this happened everyday and Peter knew that eventually Ashton would get his head together and there would be no more of this until Ashton decided he wanted to do it. Peter couldn't help but like how he was feeling. He knew what he was feeling, but the question was whether or not he should say anything about it.

For the moment Peter kept his mouth shut. He knew that Ashton wasn't the kind of guy that really talked about how he felt too much. Peter was okay with that. Sure he would like to know more about how Ashton really felt about him instead of having to guess all the time, but sometimes Peter just... he didn't mind Ashton's silence on the subject... he just sometimes wished that Ashton could open up to him a little more than he did.

But Peter had forgotten about his thinking about not saying anything and he let it slip. He had told Ashton that he loved him and that was just crazy. Peter didn't know what he expected, but he knew that he probably wouldn't get one in return and that was okay. Peter knew that he should never expect anything with Ashton. He sighed softly at Ashton's reaction. Peter wasn't quite sure about what Ashton had muttered into his chest, but he didn't think it was a good thing. Finally Ashton said something that made Peter feel a little better. "Ashton, I told you... you don't have to say it back, okay? I'm not searching for an I love you." Peter really wasn't. If Ashton didn't love him, then he didn't want Ashton to say it. "All I'm looking for is honesty and you've already given me that." Peter didn't say anything else. He just held Ashton close. When Ashton had stilled moments ago Peter had been sure that he would pull away. Now Pete just wanted to hold him close and never let him go.

Ashton may not know how he felt, but Peter knew how he felt and thought he should be able to say that out loud even if it freaked Ashton out a little bit. Peter started feeling pretty tired, but there was no way that he was going to sleep before Ashton did though. He wanted to make Ashton feel better and he wanted to be sure his job was done for sure. "You feel better now, Ash?" Peter asked as he gently rubbed his favorite spot on Ashton's back. "I'm staying..." He said more to reassure himself more than anything. "I'll be here tonight, tomorrow, the next day... as long as you need me."</sup>